tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6506103306824549513.post2712117637681622511..comments2010-02-07T11:00:03.802-08:00Comments on K. Harvey Fiction & Poetry: Lines Inspired By The Fishing MoonK. Jankehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05381263061377517154noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6506103306824549513.post-24629465487302707682009-03-29T10:43:00.000-07:002009-03-29T10:43:00.000-07:00I think "Simple Venus for a lure" has great imager...I think "Simple Venus for a lure" has great imagery. Venus as a lure--as in, a fishing lure. Something that attracts and physically pulls something in. But also, you mean Venus allures, right? <BR/><BR/>And do you also mean to imply that Venus pulls attention from to moon to her/it?Vanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11288852342905752937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6506103306824549513.post-80940094616518288942009-03-22T00:39:00.000-07:002009-03-22T00:39:00.000-07:00Uhh...isn't the whole point of the poem to try and...Uhh...isn't the whole point of the poem to try and explain what you just said in two sentences? I mean, the poem seems to explain itself through the imagery you use - the first stanza gets the picture in there pretty well. <BR/><BR/>At least, it does after a second or third reading. I think the syntax in that first stanza might be a little difficult...it doesn't seem to flow naturally to me. The rhythm is fine, I think, but when I say it out loud it trips me up - "lure" seems to be a bit of a tongue-twister. Especially since it's one of those weird words which can be pronounced a few ways despite being one syllable. Is it "l-HER" or "loo-HER" or "looooo-er?" I think that's a problem, and that weird syllable makes the second line end a bit too abruptly for the way the rhythm works in the rest of the poem.<BR/><BR/>Again, maybe that's intentional on your part, but I find it makes for a difficult flow, especially since the last three lines of the stanza run smoothly off the tongue. And when I read it in my head I have to stop and think about it for a minute and it disrupts my focus on the actual meaning of the words. <BR/><BR/>I think you've done very well with that part of it. I can see the images you're trying to get across, the scene you're trying to set. So I think that part of it is very good. Just that first stanza, I think, might trip people up (in my opinion).<BR/><BR/>Also, what is the "rocket with four hundred and ninety lights"?JHittshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13215672386075183351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6506103306824549513.post-26252541001850594012009-02-18T17:33:00.000-08:002009-02-18T17:33:00.000-08:00What I refer to as "the fishing moon" occurred on ...What I refer to as "the fishing moon" occurred on a somewhat warm winter night, as spring was approaching, in the sky over snow that had melted into shapes resembling sand moved by underwater currents. It was a full moon, extremely bright on the semi-melted snow, and opposite in the sky from the next-brightest celestial body, Venus. A line was imagined tracing an arc from one end of the night sky to the other, as if in the motion of casting.K. Jankehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05381263061377517154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6506103306824549513.post-5122164870959246292009-02-18T17:29:00.000-08:002009-02-18T17:29:00.000-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.K. Jankehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05381263061377517154noreply@blogger.com